DISCLAIMER: If you’re a prude, you need to stop here.
Penises are not the coolest toys in the world, scratch that, if you’re a whore they’re probably the funnest things you’ve ever played with. I mean, they’re like water guns, just with semen and piss.
I thought so too.
But what if we could study awkward penises? Like if you could go to a lab and put on on of those cool ass lab coats and play with them?
Not exactly play with them, but if that’s what you’re into… by all means be my guest.
Now in know what you’re thinking..
“KAYLA! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! REGULAR PENISES NEED LOVE TOO!”
And I’m sorry to tell you this, tiny dancers…
BUT NO THEY DONT!
How many times a day to regular penises get loving? EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR!
But when girls see an awkward penis, they not thinking “ohh that extra flap of skin is sexy” or “I cant wait to get on that lumpy penis tonight”.
They’re thinking “EWW GET IT WAY!” like its something out of a sci fi film. And yes, i know that’s wrong.. but i mean can you blame us?
Do you really think a crooked penis is attractive?
Who really wants to have to get on a penis sideways?
Studying awkward penises could revolutionize the whole world, we’d be finding ways to make awkward penises more attractive to the female species…
Here are some ideas I’ve come up with already…
-Spray some cologne on it.
-Bake a cake with it.
-Teach it to cry.
I mean, the possibilities are endless…
I’ve gotten sidetracked by the idea of baking a cake with a penis, i think that would be quite cool.
Is that just me?
*shakes head* no, no i understand.
Now that Ive probably been shunned for this post.
I’m gonna end it with this one question.
Have you loved your awkward penis, today?
I know this is off subject…
but they finally buried Michael Jackson.
It’s about damn time.