Everything I Want To Be..

I’m 17, about to be 18. I’m so close to all my dreams and goals. It’s crazy thinking about it. Maybe I’m overreacting because of the evil red dot, but I really think like this when I’m not half crazy.

So yeah, this post is going to be of everything I hope to become. I know this is what I am, it’s just the matter of bringing it out. All of these characters are in my head. Projecting them is the hard part.

Let us start.

Josephine Baker is my first character. Her name is Carrrrmen. And you have to rolllll the “r”. She is the definition of drama! She runs around the city with a fantastic story about her many travels around the world, from Paris to Tokyo. About how she fell in love with an Italian named Emilio and right before he proposed, she sexed him and caught the next plane to London to do it all over. About her many bar fights and shopping sprees in the finest vintage shops. Just all about the finer things in life. The glam and glitz the world has to offer.  She lives the high life and doesn’t give a damn about what your dreams are unless they are going to be in the way of her own. I know this is a scary life for some, but jet setting, breaking hearts, and rare vintage pieces is what Carmen lives and breaths for.

Dorothy Dangridge is another character. Her name is Kelly. She is the compassionate sweet girl. One of the characters most see on a day-to-day basis. She not really the “girl next door”, but she is defiantly on your street.  She is an advocate for the cliche “forgive and forget”. Her heart is extremely big and she can’t help her sensitivity. I really resent this side of me for a number of reasons. I know most people would love to have a heart, but you have no choice except to feel stupid whenever someone takes it for granted. The only reason I put this side of me on display the most is because it’s the easiest to deal with. No controversy. No extra unnecessary stuff. Just smooth sailing.

This is Miss Chaka Khan (pre diva status). Her name is Ravyn. She is the wild crazed hippie that people want to murder. She is all about the liberation of the African American community (Hence the black fist with liberate under it getting tatted on my  neck). She is a vegan and natural in every sense of the word. She lives only on what she needs and takes it all day by day.  She is that chick that brings everyone up that she’s around and tries to see the good in all. Don’t try her though. She’s hold a black panthers meeting and have everyone beat your ass.  I know this is who I will become because I’ve been transforming into this for the past year and it was kicked into high gear ever since I chop chop choped all my hair off. It’s something about chopping your hair off that liberates you and makes you feel that much more….I’m gonna stop. I’ll just write a book about it.

How I picture the next character is Pam Greir. Her name is Frankie. She is the sex symbol of the group. She is every mans dream and more. She crushes hearts with one glance and takes a breath away with one “hello”. Kinda sick, huh? She makes it hard for men to resist her. Is it her eyes? Is it her smile? Or maybe it’s her hips? In my case, it’s defiantly the boobs and the face! Just one cocky bitch that dares someone to think she’s not bad. She is the confidence that lives inside of me. That just brews and tells me I look good, even on those bad days.

And last but not least, we have Grace Jones. Her name Havana. She is FIERCE x10. She is all the crazy eccentric things of the world. She is the snow leopard and the king of the jungle. She is heaven and hell all wrapped into 1. The exhibitionist  that everyone dreams to be. The philanthropist for creativity. She dances to the beat of that drum you’ve always wanted to dance to, but was to scared to catch the beat. She stunts in her Christian Louboutin’s, leaving a blood red track for every chickenhead to try to follow. That’s impossible. Her status is something a girl is born with, but she has to work to perfect it.

The confidence of a lion.

The grace of a gazelle.

The spirit of a hummingbird.

The compassion of a ladybug.

The freedom of a dove.

That is ALL the woman I want to be. Everything and then some. I know this is a crazy but I know it’s in each and every girl reading this has every bit of this inside of her. Like i said before, it’s the matter of bringing it all out. So my journey starts now. To be come the girl I want to be. I think I’m off to a good start.

Oh yeah…

I got a Mac. YAY ME!




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